Is Work-Life Balance a Myth? An Austin Psychologist’s Take
“I just want a better work-life balance.” We’ve likely all said it, and if you are like most of my clients, you find that work can easily start bleeding into your personal life. Staying late at the office, answering emails after hours, saying “yes” to projects and extra shifts despite your calendar already being overcommitted. Work-life balance sounds amazing. But is it realistic? This blog covers ways in which work-life balance is a myth for high-achievers and what to strive for instead.
Why Work-Life Balance Is a Myth
The world demands a lot of you. Especially if you are like my clients, high-achieving women trying to balance it all. You’re trying to excel and grow in your career, hit your goals, but also have a social life, spend time with your partner, go to the gym, and get 8 hours of sleep at night. It is a myth that you can evenly split your energy, time, and attention between work and personal life every day. And for most of my clients, they are making themselves crazy and burning out trying. The constant pressure to achieve “balance” leads to guilt and shame, making them feel like they are failing at both work and life. Not to mention the constant connectivity, high expectations (from external sources and internal), and our society’s glorification of productivity, makes balance unrealistic. You can’t do it all and be all at the same time.
What You Should Strive For Instead
While the practicality of work-life balance is unrealistic, you can find more alignment in your professional and personal lives. Instead of focusing on having balance in all areas of your life, striving to live more in alignment with your values and making intentional choices will likely lead to greater life satisfaction. I like to think of our lives as seasons. Some seasons of life may demand more work if you are trying to meet end-of-the-year deadlines or quarterly goals, while other seasons may be slower professionally, allowing you the space and time for other things. Small shifts at work and in your personal life (e.g., setting boundaries, prioritizing rest, saying no when you don’t have capacity) can help you create a more realistic version of balance that works for you.
Reframing Work-Life Balance
While striving for work-life balance may set you up for feeling like a failure, below are some ways you can reframe work-life balance so you have greater satisfaction in your personal and professional lives.
Get Clear on Your Values: Align your time and energy with what matters most right now. Is that being more present in your relationships and at work? Maybe it is spending time connecting with others or giving back to your community. By getting clear on your values, you can immediately start making intentional choices towards living a fulfilled life.
Set Boundaries: Not staying late at work, communicating with others about your capacity, not taking on more projects or shifts when you are already overcommitted, and not answering emails after work hours. Whatever boundaries you need, communicate them clearly and stick to them!
Prioritize Well-Being: Well-being can be broadly defined, but thinking about things and behaviors that you can implement that take care of you, not just in the short term, but also in the long run. Making sure you are getting good quality sleep, moving your body in ways that feel good (let this be your permission slip that if you hate running, don’t run), going to therapy, and investing in your relationships. Think of your well-being as a non-negotiable instead of what comes last.
Practice Flexibility: Life is going to throw us curveballs, and we definitely go through seasons of life. What you need in one season of life may look different in a different season of life, and that is okay. Be compassionate with yourself and others as you navigate different seasons of life.
Final Thoughts
Perfect work-life balance is a myth, but a meaningful, values-aligned life is possible. You can’t do it all and do it perfectly. And when we come to learn that, there is freedom in how you choose to live your life. So drop the pressure of trying to find a perfect balance and focus more on what feels fulfilling and sustainable for you. If you feel stuck or burned out, therapy can help you clarify what really matters most to you and set boundaries to build a healthier relationship with work.
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Work-life balance may be a myth, but you can still live a life that is fulfilling and sustainable. If you are an anxious, high-achieving woman in Austin who wants long-lasting strategies to build a life where you are thriving instead of surviving, I would love to hear from you.
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Other Services Offered by Dr. Molly Moore of Moore Psychotherapy, PLLC
Are you a high-achieving woman who struggles with anxiety, impostor syndrome, and burnout? I’m Dr. Molly Moore, a licensed psychologist in Austin, TX who specializes in working with high-achieving women just like you. In addition to helping clients ditch anxiety with Therapy for Anxiety, I also help women overcome self-doubt and feeling like a fraud with Therapy for Imposter Syndrome. Therapy for Burnout is for women who are exhausted—emotionally and physically—to find relief and be productive without sacrificing their needs. In my practice, I provide Online Therapy in Texas. To learn more about me and the work I do, check out my About Me page and my blog.