You’re the go-to person at work, the one who always delivers, shows up, and gets shit done. But lately you’ve been running on fumes. Your partner has noticed that you seem more irritable (which alone has made you more irritable), you’re exhausted no matter how much you sleep, and while you’re crushing it at work, life feels off. Most of my clients are type A and career-driven driven (or is it anxiety?) and they have a high-achieving part. This is just one part of them, not their whole identity or their whole selves. But this part of them can drive them into the ground and into burnout. This blog covers how and why your high-achieving part is leading you to burnout and how you show up at work without grinding yourself into the ground.

What is the High-Achieving Part?

We are all made up of different parts. You may have a caretaking part, an inner critic, a people pleaser part, the part that loves to binge watch reality tv to cope with burnout, and a high-achieving part that kicks ass at work. Your high-achieving part may show up as perfectionism, re-reading every brief, memo, and clinical note in an attempt to protect you from making a mistake that feels monumental. Or maybe you have an over-functioning part that leads you to go above and beyond what is expected in an attempt to keep things running smoothly and successfully. All of these parts have good intentions and are trying to help you in the way they know how. But there can be a hidden cost to how some of these overprotective parts are working. When these parts run the show, you have nothing left to give your family, your immune system tanks, and you are left chronically stressed. Sound familiar or is it just me 10 years ago?.

Woman standing at a desk looking at her phone. This image represents a high achieving woman who experiences burnout. Dr. Molly Moore is an anxiety therapist in Austin, Texas working with anxious high achieving women.

Signs Your High-Achieving Part is Taking Over

It can be difficult to notice when your high-achieving part is taking over. Especially since there are so many benefits to that part. But knowing when your high-achieving part (or one of it’s friends—Hey, perfectionistic part!) is crucial to taking back control and preventing burnout. Some signs that your high-achieving part is taking over include:

· Difficulty setting boundaries – always saying ‘yes’. That knee jerk response of “Yes!” when someone asks you to take on a case or cover an extra shift when in reality, your body is screaming at you to say “NO!” And when you do get the courage to set a boundary, you are filled with guilt.

· Constantly raising the bar – nothing ever feels “good enough.” That recent promotion you got felt great for a bit but then you set your eyes on the next thing. You thought the feelings of imposter syndrome would end once you graduated medical school, passed the bar, or reached six figures, only to find that it never feels enough.

· When you try to rest, you feel guilty. This is a common experience my anxious, high-achieving clients experience. They struggle to take their PTO unless it is an emergency and when they do have time to relax, they aren’t able to.

· Physical signs of burnout — fatigue, headaches, GI symptoms, and insomnia. This fatigue and burnout goes beyond just being tired and it isn’t something that a week away on a tropical vacation would fix (although that would be nice!). You find yourself stuck in the same burnout cycle despite doing “all the right things.”

· Emotional signs — irritability, resentment, anxiety. Lately, your partner has pointed out that you have been more irritable lately and if you’re honest with yourself, you’ve noticed it, too. Or maybe you find yourself resentful when your coworkers or colleagues ask for your assistance on something because you are already stretched thin. These are all emotional signs that you might be experiencing burnout and need to shift your nervous system.

Woman sits at a desk looking at her laptop with her head in her hand. This image represents how anxious high achievers experience burnout despite their accomplishments. Dr. Molly Moore is an anxiety therapist in Austin, Texas working with women.

But I Thought My High-Achieving Part was Good for Me

It is! I’m not here to tell you that your high-achieving part should go away or that it is bad. It has worked so incredibly hard and you likely wouldn’t have made it to where you are now without it. That being said, when the high-achieving part of you takes over by leading you to overwork and not take your PTO, you can expect yourself to be on the fast track to feeling chronically stressed and burnt out. When the high-achieving part of you is in the driver seat, it can be easy to ignore other parts of yourself (the part that needs rest, play, and connection) which creates an imbalance.

You Can be Productive and Driven without Burning Yourself Out (Here’s How!)

A brunette woman wearing a black shirt smiles at the camera. This image represents the importance of high-achieving women practicing boundaries to prevent burnout. Dr. Molly Moore is an anxiety therapist in Austin, Texas who works with women.

While we don’t want your high-achieving part to go away, it might be helpful to explore if it can help you in a different way. Below are a few concrete steps you can do when you notice that your anxious or high-achieving part has taken over.

Notice and name it — build awareness when it’s active. Are there certain times when it takes over (e.g. nearing the end of the quarter, when the work system is stretched then)? How do you experience this part of you in your body (e.g. do you notice a tingling or tightness sensation), behaviors (e.g. skipping lunch, answering emails outside of working hours) and your thoughts (e.g. thinking “I should be doing more.”)?
Practice self-compassion — it’s trying to protect you. Your high-achieving part is trying so hard to protect you. From what exactly may look different from each person but I often see that it’s trying to protect clients from rejection, failure, or being shamed/criticized. Once we acknowledge the positive intent and job of our high-achieving part, we can then practice self-compassion and gratitude for this part.
Check in with your other needs — rest, fun, relationships. What other needs might you be missing? Maybe you have found yourself missing connection with safe people or needing light hearted conversations that don’t drain you intellectually and emotionally? You might also be neglecting your basic needs and need to drink more water, eat regularly, move your body, and prioritize sleep.
Set healthy boundaries — give yourself permission to say no. Not to sound dramatic but this can be literally life changing. What boundaries might you benefit from? Some examples may include: not answering work calls or emails after hours, pausing before answering emails or work calls, prioritizing what is important and what can be saved for later.
Take small steps to delegate, pause, or slow down. It can feel impossible to start setting boundaries, practicing self-compassion, and trying to recover from burnout. So instead of trying all of these things at once (hello overachiever!), what feels like a good place for you to start?

When You Might Benefit from Professional Support

With self-help books, podcasts, and coaches all trying to get your attention, it can be hard to know where to turn for support and if you could benefit from therapy for anxiety and burnout since you are so successful professional. Some signs that you could benefit from working with a therapist that specializes in working with high-achievers include:

· Chronic stress and burnout

· Anxiety

· Panic attacks

· Trouble disconnecting from work

· Feeling guilt when you do take a break from work

Working with a therapist that specializes in therapy for high achievers is so important for you to find lasting change that goes beyond surface level coping skills. In my work with high achieving clients, we get to the root of their burnout, anxiety and imposter syndrome so they can thrive without burning out and sacrificing all the hard work they have done to get to where they are now.

Final Thoughts

If you get anything from this blog post, I want you to know that your high-achieving part of you isn’t bad. And we don’t want to get rid of it. It just needs balance so that all parts of you get their needs met and so you can thrive not only at work, but in your personal life as well. What would happen if you gave your high-achieving part a break? While there might be fear that you may not be as productive, my guess is that you would show up more authentically and still be driven without the constant internal pressure to meet the next goal.

Therapy for High-Achieving Women in Austin and throughout the state of TX!

Working in high-pressure and stressful jobs can be a recipe for anxiety, imposter syndrome, and burnout. If you find yourself questioning why you went to graduate school and wanting to have more balance in your work and personal life, I would love to help you get there.

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Other Services Offered by Dr. Molly Moore of Moore Psychotherapy

Are you a high-achieving woman who struggles with anxiety, impostor syndrome, and burnout? I’m Dr. Molly Moore, a licensed psychologist in Austin, TX who specializes in working with high-achieving women just like you. In addition to helping clients ditch anxiety with Therapy for Anxiety, I also help women overcome self-doubt and feeling like a fraud with Therapy for Imposter Syndrome. Therapy for Burnout is for those folks who are exhausted—emotionally and physically—to find relief and be productive without sacrificing their needs. In my practice, I provide Online Therapy in Texas. To learn more about me and the work I do, check out my About Me page and my blog.

How Your High-Achieving Part May Be Leading to Burnout and What to do About It